ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Like every day in summer, when the weather was fine, they took a walk through the botanical garden. The sun was shining, reflected from Sally's smooth dark brown hair. She was laughing, and to Jonah it seemed that the world itself was laughing with her. The tips of her fingers lightly danced on the petals of a white rose.
"Did you know that, whenever you touch a flower lovingly, a dead fairy that might have lived in there comes back to life again?" she asked, her bright eyes illuminating his very soul.
"Yes, my dear", Jonah answered and kissed her softly. "Yes, you've taught me that." He put his arm around her and gently led her down the path. As always when he felt her warm, soft body beside his, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her. A smile spread across his face and he pulled her closer.
Sally laughed and kissed his cheek. Then she withdrew from him and ran along the lawn, arms spread wide to catch the wind, her skirt waving like a flag behind her. He followed and caught her, pinning her arms to her side playfully.
"Stop that", he panted, "people are already staring at us." He pressed his lips against her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair.
Together they sank to the ground, sitting next to each other. Jonah was still holding Sally. His lips touched her ear. "Do you know how happy you make me? I don't know what I would do without you", he whispered. "I love you, Sally."
She turned to look at him. "I love you, too." Her head sank onto his shoulder and he leaned his cheek against her crown.
Thus they sat for a while, until Sally got up and took his hand, dragging him along. She was always on the move, wanted to taste and see and smell the whole world. So unlike him. Jonah smiled and just trailed behind, enjoyng her company. She went to every part of the garden with him, making him smell the flowers and touch the grass and leaves. Just like every day in summer...
Danny was searching again, wondering how he had managed to run away this time. He saw people with confused expressions coming towards him. Some seemed to be concerned. 'Right way, I guess', he said to himself. It was always the botanical garden where he looked first.
After turning round a corner he saw a couple still not willing to give up their seat on a bench in the sunlight. His eyes following their stares, he spotted him. The lanky man with the greasy blond pageboy. Jonah. He was talking, laughing. His steel blue eyes were alive with happiness. A rare smile was displayed on his face. If only there was someone he was laughing with, but his arm lay around no one's waist. There was just the air of a warm summer's day...
"Dad!" Danny shouted. "Dad, come here!" He walked towards him, feeling the other people's eyes upon his back.
Jonah turned when he heard the voice. Then he looked back at Sally. She was fading now. The voice had caused the cut through her throat to form, blood running out over his arms. He felt its warmth; the handle of the knife in his hand; and the rage, because she wanted to leave him and their son. He felt the memory of how easily the blade had cut through her firm skin.
Her empty eyes were staring at him accusingly.
"I'm sorry, my love", he whispered, tears running down his nose. "I am so sorry."
"Dad." Danny touched his shoulder. "Come on, Dad. We have to go home now." He softly pulled him along, talking under his breath to calm him down. "It wasn't your fault, Dad. It was a burglar who killed her after he knocked you out. You know that. Don't cry."
"Did you know that, whenever you touch a flower lovingly, a dead fairy that might have lived in there comes back to life again?" she asked, her bright eyes illuminating his very soul.
"Yes, my dear", Jonah answered and kissed her softly. "Yes, you've taught me that." He put his arm around her and gently led her down the path. As always when he felt her warm, soft body beside his, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her. A smile spread across his face and he pulled her closer.
Sally laughed and kissed his cheek. Then she withdrew from him and ran along the lawn, arms spread wide to catch the wind, her skirt waving like a flag behind her. He followed and caught her, pinning her arms to her side playfully.
"Stop that", he panted, "people are already staring at us." He pressed his lips against her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair.
Together they sank to the ground, sitting next to each other. Jonah was still holding Sally. His lips touched her ear. "Do you know how happy you make me? I don't know what I would do without you", he whispered. "I love you, Sally."
She turned to look at him. "I love you, too." Her head sank onto his shoulder and he leaned his cheek against her crown.
Thus they sat for a while, until Sally got up and took his hand, dragging him along. She was always on the move, wanted to taste and see and smell the whole world. So unlike him. Jonah smiled and just trailed behind, enjoyng her company. She went to every part of the garden with him, making him smell the flowers and touch the grass and leaves. Just like every day in summer...
Danny was searching again, wondering how he had managed to run away this time. He saw people with confused expressions coming towards him. Some seemed to be concerned. 'Right way, I guess', he said to himself. It was always the botanical garden where he looked first.
After turning round a corner he saw a couple still not willing to give up their seat on a bench in the sunlight. His eyes following their stares, he spotted him. The lanky man with the greasy blond pageboy. Jonah. He was talking, laughing. His steel blue eyes were alive with happiness. A rare smile was displayed on his face. If only there was someone he was laughing with, but his arm lay around no one's waist. There was just the air of a warm summer's day...
"Dad!" Danny shouted. "Dad, come here!" He walked towards him, feeling the other people's eyes upon his back.
Jonah turned when he heard the voice. Then he looked back at Sally. She was fading now. The voice had caused the cut through her throat to form, blood running out over his arms. He felt its warmth; the handle of the knife in his hand; and the rage, because she wanted to leave him and their son. He felt the memory of how easily the blade had cut through her firm skin.
Her empty eyes were staring at him accusingly.
"I'm sorry, my love", he whispered, tears running down his nose. "I am so sorry."
"Dad." Danny touched his shoulder. "Come on, Dad. We have to go home now." He softly pulled him along, talking under his breath to calm him down. "It wasn't your fault, Dad. It was a burglar who killed her after he knocked you out. You know that. Don't cry."
Entered in the Best of 2009 contest. Wish me luck!
---
This was an entry for two clubs at once.
It has the twisted ending (I hope) asked for in a #Writers-Workshop (here [link] and here [link]).
It also fits this month's character prompt at *simplyprose : "This character is a man, woman or child who has lost someone close to them - whether by death, disappearance or some other means. As regards the loss of that person, your character knows more than he or she is letting on...!" ([link])
The first sentence in the dialogue was inspired by another deviation of mine ([link]), which looked so bad I revised it, making it part of yet another workshop (see artist's comment there). So, these were quite busy days.
I wasn't sure about the category, nor whether or not I need a mature content warning for that whit of blood?
---
This was an entry for two clubs at once.
It has the twisted ending (I hope) asked for in a #Writers-Workshop (here [link] and here [link]).
It also fits this month's character prompt at *simplyprose : "This character is a man, woman or child who has lost someone close to them - whether by death, disappearance or some other means. As regards the loss of that person, your character knows more than he or she is letting on...!" ([link])
The first sentence in the dialogue was inspired by another deviation of mine ([link]), which looked so bad I revised it, making it part of yet another workshop (see artist's comment there). So, these were quite busy days.
I wasn't sure about the category, nor whether or not I need a mature content warning for that whit of blood?
© 2009 - 2024 GirlWithAHat
Comments16
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
This story... I found it through random browsing, and I cannot even begin to explain how much I love it. Every element is well done. One thing I especially enjoyed was that the sense of momentum wasn't interrupted with the changes in viewpoint character, but redirected and strengthened. Your word choice was also lovely, with an artistry that doesn't call attention to individual words but to the tone arc of the whole.
Also, I was particularly delighted to be surprised by the ending, which for me is rather rare. Too many endings are predictable from sentence one, but somehow, this one was a logical surprise -- by which I mean that you built the layers for the reader so perfectly that the surprise ending was indeed a surprise but not a betrayal. I noticed that one commenter found it a bit abrupt, but for me it works. I heard in Danny's words an often repeated, comforting response to his father which is simultaneously shocking to the reader.
Altogether, this is an excellent piece! Thank you for sharing!
Also, I was particularly delighted to be surprised by the ending, which for me is rather rare. Too many endings are predictable from sentence one, but somehow, this one was a logical surprise -- by which I mean that you built the layers for the reader so perfectly that the surprise ending was indeed a surprise but not a betrayal. I noticed that one commenter found it a bit abrupt, but for me it works. I heard in Danny's words an often repeated, comforting response to his father which is simultaneously shocking to the reader.
Altogether, this is an excellent piece! Thank you for sharing!